I decided to wear my clothes for tomorrow as PJ's...that way if I wake up late, I will have one less thing to worry about and if I do end up waking up on time I can give myself 10 extra minutes of sleep...for every minute is precious. I wonder why I'm still awake then...
Well, band frustrates me. I know I won't get higher than a B, but I'm doing everything possible to get an A in that class. I try so hard...and for a while I thought I didn't, but there are other people in the class, actually a lot of people, who don't really try. I mean, when he's talking and such like that I'm fingering along music and trying to get the whole concept of the trumpet, meanwhile there are idiot people like Skank staring off into space and when we actually begin to play he's still staring off into space. I'm staying after school tomorrow to do the make-up work...not that it will do me any good, but I can try.
I still have those tickets and I have no idea where I could possible sell them in the next few days. I know Sam has them and I was planning on advertising them at my church last Sunday, but mom didn't want to go and I didn't want to go by myself. I'm such a weener. Bah
I'm really worried about my math test tomorrow. If I don't get an A on the test, I'm doomed to getting a B+ in that class. That is incredibly tragic for me...I have been working exceptionally hard in math. What's pathethic, is that I have gotten an A on everything except 2 tests that I got a B and somehow I have a very low A in that class. I don't get it. Agh!
And I don't know what to do about Patti tomorrow. I'm sure she feels guilty enough with everyone picking on her. It's too late to bother trying to talk to her. I know tomorrow will be just as akward as yesterday. At least I have Rebecca. She just frustrates me. Even when her and Kyle were going out I was very frustrated, because during that whole time I had this crush on him and the more I talked to him the more it developed. Nowadays he doesn't talk to me much anymore and I figured I could still see him as a sort-of friend, since I no longer really consider him someone I could like all that much as a person, but I'm sure he's off drooling endlessly over Amy. Yes, this whole Kyle and Amy thing thoroughly amuses me. If I see them go out, I will laugh so hard I will fall on the floor and my internal organs will spew from my throat and I will die of laughter. Then I won't have to worry about laughing even more when they break up, because I'll already have died. Hahahaha!
I'm letting my grade slip in English and I HAVE GOT to get an A on the final and an A on the essay in order to ensure I get a high A, because at this point my A is probably low. Good god, must I stress about school so often? I stress over A-'s for god's sake! How pathethic is that?! I know a bunch of people who are happy to pass with a D and I'm worrying about an A-...ugh...sometimes I disgust myself...actually, it happens often.
My mood for today has not been peachy. I was acting all psychotic after school with Melissa, but that wore itself out. I don't know, maybe it's just that when I see Sam and Sonny hanging out I feel all giddy, because I completely adore Sam and she's been happy a lot lately, which makes me happy! But...even through that...lately I've felt pretty crummy, but it's probably from school or maybe it's from the fact that I keep seeing the things I want and could have had, but the things I hold myself back from saying or find myself saying tends to fuck me over. As Ulrich would say, "I don't like your attitude" No, I definately do not like my attitude.
Well...I'm going to um...continue my conversation of evil inventions with Fred and then possibly crawl into bed.